I have had ENOUGH!
I was in a clothing store (breifly) today...Im trying to find an outfit for this charity dinner coming up at the end of the month. Actually...to be honest...I have some nice clothes that I could wear, but when Rodney and I were in the mall last night...I found an awesome outfit (that I still have to try on) and that got my shopping bug started. So anyways...I was looking at a few skirts and the sales lady comes over to chat and out of NOWHERE says..."have you ever thought about being a plus size model" Talk about a piss off. What pissed me off the most was that a year and a half ago...a sales lady from back home asked me to be in her stores fashion show. It was alot of fun and I did look pretty good...but I swore to myself that I would be that size in a year. Well...guess what I AM! And that woman today reminded me of that...and I cried all the way home.
I think I have hit the wall with this issue. Im really tried of hiding. Im tired of not being confident. I miss the days with Michelle when we went out to bars (often hehe) and I would get up on the speakers, be confident and have a decent amount of men approach me. I dont want the attention from men though...I have a man..who is so damn great. And is attracted to me for what I look like now. But there are many things I shy away from and will shy away from in the future...things that I used to love doing.
I need to find a workout for me. Something I love, will stick with and will see results. I did like Curves in Pembroke. I also liked AquaFit. I have a pilates tape and a TaeBo DVD. I like having a work out buddy...and I think I need someone that will motivate me to go and not let me back out. I love working out with Stace, but she needs the same thing I do.
So...friends...I need some advice. I dont want to hear "you arent fat" STOP SAYING THAT BEN! AND JER!!!
I was in a clothing store (breifly) today...Im trying to find an outfit for this charity dinner coming up at the end of the month. Actually...to be honest...I have some nice clothes that I could wear, but when Rodney and I were in the mall last night...I found an awesome outfit (that I still have to try on) and that got my shopping bug started. So anyways...I was looking at a few skirts and the sales lady comes over to chat and out of NOWHERE says..."have you ever thought about being a plus size model" Talk about a piss off. What pissed me off the most was that a year and a half ago...a sales lady from back home asked me to be in her stores fashion show. It was alot of fun and I did look pretty good...but I swore to myself that I would be that size in a year. Well...guess what I AM! And that woman today reminded me of that...and I cried all the way home.
I think I have hit the wall with this issue. Im really tried of hiding. Im tired of not being confident. I miss the days with Michelle when we went out to bars (often hehe) and I would get up on the speakers, be confident and have a decent amount of men approach me. I dont want the attention from men though...I have a man..who is so damn great. And is attracted to me for what I look like now. But there are many things I shy away from and will shy away from in the future...things that I used to love doing.
I need to find a workout for me. Something I love, will stick with and will see results. I did like Curves in Pembroke. I also liked AquaFit. I have a pilates tape and a TaeBo DVD. I like having a work out buddy...and I think I need someone that will motivate me to go and not let me back out. I love working out with Stace, but she needs the same thing I do.
So...friends...I need some advice. I dont want to hear "you arent fat" STOP SAYING THAT BEN! AND JER!!!
posted by Amanda | 12:49 PM
3 Comments:
Sweetie, it's OK for you to have goals to improve your health and body, but you are not fat!!! And I'll always say that, no matter what.
Hey there sweetie. I love reading your blogs, especially when I am mentioned,lol. I am happy and here to help you to improve yourself. I also will say that I dont think you are fat. And if someone has asked you to be a plus size model, they see the same beauty in you as I. It,s that glowing smile that gets my attention, not your size.
Anyways, cant wait to see you again later tonight. See yah soon.
Jer:
Thank you for your honesty! I really do appreciate it. Maybe everyone should just start lying to me and telling me Im fat then...Any thoughts on work outs?
Rodney:
You are such an amazing man! I had tears in my eyes reading this. :) I do appreciate your offer for support! It means the world to me!!! Lets keep making healthy choices (Ill leave 90% of the chocolate to you)!!! Its too bad I couldnt join you for PT - although Im positive the Sarge would kill me the first day!!!
I guess I should be grateful that you agree with Jer (and Ben even thought he is ignoring my blog) - hehe of course I am! Im glad to hear that if I never changed you would still be attracted to me.
I still cannot decide which gym to join!
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